That is my topic.
I haven't written in a while.
I will explain.
There are a couple or three reasons.
First, life happens. I have had a very busy spell. You know, those times when you are just getting by, and then you start to let things slide that don't seem too terribly important. Things that will be okay, if "I just set these here for a while. Don't worry. I will be back," I whisper reassuring words to that portion of my life as I walk away. Weeks later... it's a sad story right? Especially for a creative. (Which we all are by the way.)
Second, I have been hit by low spell after low spell. The definition of a low spell for me is a period of time when I feel nothing. Down. Dark. In fierce need of solitude. I swear someone keeps leaving the door to Azkaban open and the dementors keep attacking my heart and brain out of nowhere. It's really starting to tick-me-off. I keep thinking, "No one wants to hear you ramble about how crappy you feel all the time." So, I don't write.
Enough! I'm writing now. Down or not. Truth is, always up and cheery isn't real. I said I was gonna be real. Then, I took it back. I am sorry. I recommit to living my true-self and sharing that with you despite my chemical brain imbalance and its daily forecast. (Yes, there really is a daily forecast. Today it was cloudy in the a.m. and cleared out by 4 p.m. Beware the new moon.)
I know it's been said a lot, but I have been deep thinking it lately. You know how life on Facebook or Instagram is generally a lie. We all post our positively perfect moments and portray them as our "actual" lives. I'm guilty.
But, I mean, who wants to see a photo of me lying on my pillow trying to give myself the pep-talk of the century just to get out of bed and function. Are we being real? I was reminded today that it is important to show our truest selves. Be vulnerable. Open. Genuine is my favorite word. Just be. Be who you are, because who you are, may be just what someone else needs to see, hear about or can relate to.
Life is shit sometimes friends. Heck, sometimes? More like most times are just plain crap. (I am sorry for my language. You are going to have to forgive my "farm words" occasionally. I promised I would be me. My gram told me once, they are just farm words. Let's be honest, sometimes you just need to yell those farm words at the top of your lungs. Yes, it can really make you feel better. I'd provide research for that, but I have already spent too much time on this squirrel moment.)
My point? I'm not perfect. I'm tired of pretending to be. Aren't you? Why can't we all just silence the voices outside our heads that eventually become the truths we tell ourselves. If you're having a bad friggin' week, I wanna know about it. I want to see that frizzy hair you couldn't tame. I want you to share that failed recipe. I want to see your tired, worn out face just as you are. You're beautiful without it. No lie. No makeup, especially no lipstick, put that hat on your head and JUST BE. I want to see that version of you. I think she and I could be friends. That girl I can relate to. I dedicate the days to come to sharing the crap. The crap is interesting, raw and real. Sometimes stinkier than necessary, but it's truth. I need more real. Don't you.
Here is my right now face. Just me in my blanket, no make-up, no filter, or facade, should-of-been-in-bed an hour ago face. This is me.
Reminding you, to JUST BE.